a transformation

I've been feeling like a real New Yorker lately. Don't laugh.

Yes, I still wear shorts patterned with cartoon cows. Yes, my roommate still makes fun of me when I pronounce the word "caramel," "car-mel." (My Canadian roommate! Making fun of my pronunciation! What's wrong with this picture, eh?) No, I don't use a Blackberry, iPhone or similar smartphone. And yes, cheddar cheese still makes up approximately 25% of my diet.

(P.S. The cheddar they sell in New York delis is terrible. What the heck does "ULTRA CHEDDAR" mean, anyway? It tasted like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter mixed with paint...)

But I've become somewhat city-savvy.

I can navigate the subways with the best of them - and I haven't just learned the train routes. I pay attention to my surroundings like a deranged tracker.

A slight wind can tell me when a train is approaching - and from what direction - before I see or hear it coming.

I've learned that when a group of people rush off a car, at a stop that isn't normally very busy, and relocate to the next car over...well, do not enter the car they are so hastily departing. Your nose will thank you later: someone reeking of stale urine is probably sleeping there.

And when Train A is a bit late during rush hour, there's simply no need to pack yourself in amidst the masses when it arrives. Avoid the claustrophobia, discomfort and awkwardness caused by inevitable jostling - there's sure to be another, less crowded Train B directly behind it. Furthermore, Train A is almost certain to go express to further itself from Train B. Your stop may be skipped. Train B is the way to go.

Maybe I've even become somewhat jaded. I can spot creepy people out of the corner of my eye (seriously, there are some creepsters here) and, in turn, avoid them. I have perfected the art of walking around pushy street vendors, ignoring subway performers and beggars (yes, I'm heartless) and jaywalking mercilessly.

I did almost get hit by a taxi today, but that's another story.

So, I'm feeling like an adopted New Yorker. One who can't wait for Friday and her weekend return to Wisconsin and its clean air, cattle and cheese curds.

[This post inspired by a certain Parisian]